Monday, November 15, 2010

Expectations 101: How much is enough?

So how many balls does one expect to keep in the air & how many plates to keep spinning if you are not in a circus. Or at least not an official circus. I love some of the balls that have passed through my hands but some times I lose track of them--or not really lose track: I just can't juggle them gracefully and they plop at my feet. I don't say this next thing as a poor me but rather as observation: I never really learned about reasonable expectations. What is enough? How many calls or emails to expect to respond to; how to accept not replying when one so wishes she could be present to these encounters of heart to heart? How many hours to work in a day? How much to do before you can rest? When is it all right not to be "productive"? How challenging to see all those castles in the sky in need of foundations.

All this not meant as lament. Although, I do feel somewhat untrained, naive, and clutzy as a tightrope walker trying to find balance on the taut, narrow highwire of time.

Just thought of those billboards that say: "Got milk?". The billboard of my overtired mind tonight says: "Got illusions?" It's not really a question; I know I got illusions--spinning like dazzling plates under a circus canopy.

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