A Moment of Transparency

A family member directed a big dose of pent up anger toward me in a hastily written email today.   What grace to have realized, as I read her note, that her angry outburst actually had little to do with me.  I sensed that her anger (a kind of temper tantrum) erupted from a cache of frustration.  What grace to see this without judging her—or me, which would have been falling into an old, familiar (hopefully rusty and defunct) trap. Once upon a time, I would have taken this individual's resentment personally and let it upset my stomach, my balance, and my day.  Today, although I got a little shaken for a few minutes by the explosion, I pretty quickly found my way back to balance.

As I recognize and take loving responsibility for my own fears (many absorbed as a child), the more I am able to discern and feel compassion for the unconscious fears that dictate the projections of others.  Once upon a time, I did not know that I had a choice not to react to the actions and reactions of others. Now I do know.  

Today instead of reacting to anger with anger, I stepped back.  I spoke my truth in the situation clearly without defense or blame. Then I offered a prayer on behalf of the other person that she might see and be freed from her own inner demons—those limiting fears and beliefs it might be of benefit to illumine with the light of her conscious awareness.  

In my life, transformation has resulted from shining the light into my shadowy places so that love, discernment and wisdom can take the reins and lead the way.